I caught up again with Bailey Hurley recently to talk about friendship. But we talked a LOT about a whole bunch of other things, too. It was fun catching up with her. Since she was last on the show, in episode 69, much has changed, both in her life and the world around us. Because her upcoming book is all about friendship, I asked her for some practical tips she could share with us as we all renavigate friendships these days. And off we went!
Lessons about friendship the pandemic taught us
Helped us to realize that pre-pandemic, we took our friends for granted
We’re all learning as we go
Grace is paramount - don’t be critical of the way others want to get together. Seek unity.
Let the little things go. Make the priority making it work!
Maximize technology. Of course, real-life face-to-face is preferable. But studies have shown that as little as 3 10-minute phone calls a week can decrease our loneliness factor by 20%. (source)
Bailey also shared her story with me about how she came to faith. It emphasized to me just how important friendships are, and was a touching display of the positive influence a deep friendship can have on our lives.
A challenging takeaway from that conversation is how Bailey realized that she needs to let go of worrying about her own children’s friendships. She reflected that had her friend’s parents discouraged their relationship, fearing that Bailey wasn’t exactly a stellar influence, Bailey may never have come to know the Lord! We just never know what God’s plans are, or how He will use the people in our lives.
Another important concept was to model healthy friendships for our own children: how do we make time for friends? How do we handle conflict? How do we include our friends in life? How do we listen, have fun together, apologize, etc.?
How we can use “Together is a Beautiful Place” in our lives
While the book isn’t a “how-to” book, it does address handling our expectations of friendships. How do we handle those? Communication is key, and it’s so important to talk about each other’s capacities and behaviors as a friend. (And realize that they may change from season to season and friend to friend.) It’s crucial to find a happy medium.
And the book addresses so many other concepts, too. Our personal histories of friendship, how to heal from toxic ones, what to look for in them, how to be a good friend…
Another important point she made is that challenges or “issues” sometimes come up between friends. While we should never talk around them (meaning, talking to your mom, your husband, your other friends…), we should talk about them - with the friend in question. Leave assumptions at the door and you’ll likely find clarity with that conversation.
Who is “Together is a Beautiful Place” for?
It’s for the “new girl”, the new girl at school, on the job, in the neighborhood. The one who is trying to figure out what a good friend looks like and how to find one. Or even what kind of friend she wants to be!
But it’s also for the girl who is “crushing it” as a friend. The one who is thriving, has a vibrant circle of friends, and is always giving. She may be feeling a bit burned out, however, and need some recharging.
And it’s also for the girl who is hurting. Who may have been in the middle of a toxic friendship and need the voice of a big sister, helping her heal through the message of Scripture, and encouraging her to get back out there…
Want to join the Launch Team?
There’s no mystery to a launch team, and it’s actually fun! It’s kind of like saying “I want to be your support person, Bailey.” If you’re an avid reader, you’ll especially enjoy this. You’ll get a copy of her book, lots of one-on-one time with her, and be a part of a community with fun giveaways and such. You don’t have to be “an influencer” or a celebrity or anything like that.
You just have to love people and like to read.
Or you can preorder it anywhere you love to buy books.
EAT READ LOVE
Bailey is eating…popcorn and Coke Zero
Bailey is reading…everything, but right now “The Mysterious Benedict Society”
Bailey is loving…that after baby-bedtime/TV-time with her hubby (Cheers, Season 2)
Listen to our entire interview here
Listen to my first interview with Bailey (Episode 69) here.
Bailey’s new book “Together is a Beautiful Place: Finding, Keeping, and Loving Our Friends” will be available May 17
https://baileythurley.com/together-is-a-beautiful-place/
And feel free to reach out to me, too, on Instagram @friendsofafeatherpodcast