Hi friend, it’s Wren Robbins.  Last time we were together, you heard from Bible teacher, Iva May.  In that episode, Iva shared with us an incredible way to read the Bible as a story!  We then talked about priorities and yes I teared up, ya’ll.  Good stuff.  You can listen to that episode, number 136 on my web site wrenrobbins.com Thanks for your feedback on this series so far! I’ve heard from some of you that are listening to each episode twice!  Wow.  

This Summer has been a great way for me to do a reset in my own heart and life and I hope this podcast series has been helpful to you as well!  

Today’s guest is David Thomas.  David is the Director of family counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, TN. He is a husband, dad to three, a speaker, writer, author, family therapist and dad to his therapy dog, Owen. 

The three words I use to describe this episode is that its helpful, Biblically-wise, and empowering. Can’t wait for you to hear it!!  

Little fun Fact: David and I were supposed to record in person in April while he was at a speaking event in Memphis, but then Covid hit, so thankfully we were able to record over Zoom one Saturday morning.   Early on, you will hear my son come into my studio (aka Cloffice) to ask me to play with Legos and David convinced me to leave that part in…brings all new meaning to bring your son to work day, right?!  Anyway, it was fun. 

So, here’s my conversation with David! 

SHOW NOTES: 

Quotes from the episode:

“How can we define accurately what it is we are feeling and how can we develop an expansive broad emotional vocabulary?”

“Empathy is a game changing ingredient so we want to see kids developing that.”

“We are made as image bearers, so we are going to be full of emotions.”

“In the face of her loss, our Savior chose to weep with her.”

“Our job is to figure out what do we feel and what do we do with it.”

“We can only take the ones we love as far as we have gone ourselves.”

“It’s got to start with us.”

“If I don’t have a well-resourcefulness developed muscle, if I cannot regulate my own emotions, how in the world am I gonna teach the kids I love to do that?”

“The research also tells us time and time again that kids learn more from observation than information, from watching us to listening to us.”

“Don’t hold yourself hostage to not feeling anger…let the objective be, ‘when I feel anger am I modeling something helpful’?  Let that be become the new objective.”

“We want kids to experience their parents disagreeing and then moving towards reconciliation.”

“God has given our kids the capacity to face fear with strength and courage.”

“What do we anchor to?”

“Regulation is effortful.”

“We are going to be experiencing lasting results is when it’s effortful.”

“We are all vulnerable to engaging with agents as opposed to moving toward effortful coping strategies.”

“We don’t want our kids to be making withdrawals from us 24/7, we cannot be that available.”

Scripture Mentioned:

Jesus showed his feelings in the Bible:

tax collectors

Jesus in the garden

Mary when Lazarus died

Jesus and the Disciples

Tangible tips we can do for our kids:

-Get a feelings chart (You can find David’s here.)

-Ask yourself, What Can I Model?

-Develop a list of coping strategies for yourself when you feel stressed and model that for your children. 

-Start with empathy & questions and land with meaning and purpose

-Do something active with movement with your son(s) to engage his heart, give him permission to feel his feelings, and move him to God.  

Resources Wren/David mention:

Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by James/Thomas

Are My Kids on Track by Sissy Goff/David Thomas/Melissa Trevathan

Raising Boys & Girls podcast: RUN DON’T WALK AND LISTEN!:) (didn’t mean to be bossy, but it’s THAT good)

EAT READ LOVE:

What David is Eating:  Sneaking veggies into carbs such as Sweet Potato Chocolate Chip Cookies & Zucchini Bread (I linked the gals at Thriving Home blog…their recipes are the best.)

What David is Reading: Where the Crawdads Sing 

What David is Loving: Being home more

Find David at his web site www.raisingboysandgirls.com, on Instagram and on FB. 

Thank you for joining me for this episode today!  

Okay one more thing before we go!!! A BIG THANK YOU to those of you who have left the podcast a review and a rating!  If you haven’t and you are enjoying what you hear, I would love for you leave a 5 star rating.  And, if you want to realllly make my day, leave a review.  Thank you for doing that…here I am Sending you a virtual hug right now!!! 

I’ll see you next time when I chat with Catharine Parks.  She will be encouraging us in our friendships and how we need to be vulnerable in them.

Remember, we are all friends of a feather so let’s stick together! 

Love you, friend! 

Wren

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