My friend and past coaching client Brandice Lardner is the host on The Grace-Filled Plate, where, as she describes it, she: helps Christian women ditch the diet mentality and find food freedom through their faith. It's the place for real, honest talk about eating, weight loss, and body image all through a Biblical lens.
We had a great conversation; prepare to be encouraged, friend!
I don’t know if y’all are the same, but I have to admit that I have a push/pull relationship with food. And from being on Brandice’s email list, I’ve come to discover that she has a very refreshing way of looking at it. So, to dive a little deeper into how that came about, we started at the beginning… (This interview has been edited for clarity and length.)
WR: Brandice, tell us, how did you view food as a kid?
BL: That is really funny, because I grew up on all processed foods you can think of: mac n cheese (the stuff with the powdered sauce), (she mentioned lots of the “old favs”)...basically everything came from a box or a bag or a can. It was culturally what we did. I enjoyed the food. It didn’t have a hold on me until…
I went on a diet.
But in my attempts to get healthy, I got very UNhealthy. The diet really skewed my relationship with food. (And oddly enough, one of the greatest precursors to overeating and being overweight is dieting!) Ultimately, we’re using worldly ways to treat a spiritual problem. Cleaning up the food doesn’t fix the real issue; we need to do both.
WR: And when did this happen? How old were you when things started to change?
BL: Well, I think I was about 14. It was around the time that “supermodels” were really hot. Remember them? They were the equivalent of today’s YouTube stars. So I found an agent, and he told me that I needed to lose 15 pounds at the start. My mom and I got out a library book, and the drama began. All those issues started right there.
I spent decades on the rollercoaster of trying to fix things by fixing my appearance. And yet I never really thought anything was wrong with my body; it was just that was what my agent told me to do!
WR: So would you say that hearing what others think about us has an influence on what we think about ourselves?
BL: Well, that’s kind of what social media age is all about, right? Checking “likes” and comments about our outfits…or if we’re pretty… Yes, it definitely affects us if we let it. It’s not until we’re secure about who God says we are, that we know our security lies in Christ, that we’re able to ignore what others think or say about us...and basically tell them to “tell it to the hand!”
WR: And so how can we form that Biblical, healthy self-image for ourselves?
BL: Well, there are two issues at play here: food and body image. Personally, I had to get ticked off enough to realize that I was following somebody else’s ideas about what was an acceptable body style. I realized I had lost so much time through the years worrying about food and what I looked like that I missed lots of holidays, vacations, family time, etc. So I chose to think and believe something different about my body image. Then, I started digging into God’s Word to get the power and backup for those new beliefs from His Truth. He starts to change us from the inside out…
Our conversation continued and covered a LOT of ground:
- how to sensitize (and use) your “crud-meter”
- the balance between our crud-meter and our peace-meter
- what led up to Brandice’s struggle with food and eventual eating disorders
- how she began to walk out of them: the physical changes
- her next step: which started to bring about spiritual healing
- the ultimate step she had to take, requiring God’s grace, and what motivated her
- HOW to shift your mindset and take it to the Lord!
- ever consider tithing your food?
- how to take the “scary” out of fasting, and create a cycle that puts God first
- 4 tips on how to stop overeating at night (see below)
Four steps to stop overeating at night
Make sure you’re eating proper meals during the day (Eat what you would serve your best friend!)
Change your routines - Small changes will encourage you that change is possible
Prepare to prepare dinner - Plan to have a small, healthy snack or drink of water beforehand and then sit down and enjoy the meal with your family.
Have a satisfying, balanced dinner
(And have your family help with clean-up…)
A final encouragement to the woman who is struggling right now
Don’t place your hope in yourself. That is a recipe for sadness. It really is not about you! God knew from the beginning of time that this was going to happen. Repent if necessary, and then agree with Him about who you are and where your security lies. Look at your shortcomings as an opportunity for praise! We don’t have to get in shape before we go to God. Praise Him in spite of what’s going on, with gratitude, and keep our eyes are on Him, rather than on ourselves.
Listen to this episode in its entirety below.
You can listen to Brandice Lardner’s podcast, The Grace-Filled Food Freedom, here.
Sign up for her free newsletter and short course on her website: The Grace-Filled Plate
You can also find her on Instagram @brandicelardner
And feel free to reach out to me on Instagram, too @friendsofafeatherpodcast